There are few things more rewarding for a Dominant (D) style than figuring out some of the world's toughest challenges. They're often the go-to person when decisions need to be made and problems solved. They're always strategizing and looking at the big picture, preparing to forge ahead, beyond boundaries and barriers.
Over time, daily tasks can start to feel routine and transactional, leaving little room for personal connection. For those with a D (Dominant) style, it's often about getting things done efficiently—facts over feelings. Picture the lone cowboy in old westerns, riding into town just in time to save the day, tipping his hat with a casual "Just doin' my job, ma'am," before heading off to the next adventure. It's all about results.
But what happens when a problem arises that doesn't want to be solved—at least not right away?
If you're a D style, this concept might sound foreign. You may be thinking, "Who wouldn't want their problem solved?" However, many people may not be ready to tackle the issue at hand. The challenge you see so clearly might not be the real issue the other person is grappling with at that moment. In such cases, jumping straight into problem-solving can backfire.
Solving the problem isn't always the best first step when emotions are involved.
Jason Headley's short video, "It's Not About the Nail," brilliantly illustrates this point. Without giving too much away, the video shows a man eager to fix what seems like an obvious problem, and a woman who just wants to be heard. It’s a perfect crash course in empathy, especially for the D style. The takeaway? Sometimes, people don't need solutions; they need understanding. It’s a simple but powerful shift from focusing on fixing the problem to connecting with the person.
Are you a D style wondering if you can develop such emotional connections? The good news is, yes, you can! Research suggests that empathy can be cultivated through training, which in turn can enhance emotional intelligence. All it takes is a willingness to learn and practice.
D styles are a behavioral minority in a world full of I, S, and C styles. Here are some tips on how to show empathy when working with other DISC styles:
Showing Empathy to I Styles
I styles love to talk and are likely to freely tell you how they're feeling regardless of your direct or subtle approach to connect. You may need to plan some extra time and a comfortable space to sit and listen to them. Let them know you've been noticing some changes in their behavior and are concerned about how they are coping with the specific challenges they are facing. I styles fear rejection and disapproval, so they may avoid being direct until they feel it's safe to share anything that may portray their weaknesses. Ask them specific questions to keep them focused and responding to your concerns.
Showing Empathy to S Styles
Connecting with an S style requires building a pattern of trust over time as they fear the loss of security in relationships and prefer to avoid conflict. Addressing behavioral concerns with an S type without prior notice and in a direct and inquisitive manner may be perceived as aggressive. This can create a sense of fear that leaves them unwilling to communicate on a personal level. They would likely appreciate the support and assistance you have to offer, but trust must come first.
Showing Empathy to C Styles
While C styles are like D styles in their focus on tasks versus people, there are some considerations to connect with C types effectively. Generally speaking, C styles are thoughtful, creative thinkers and very articulate and detail-oriented when describing just about anything they are interested in. However, they fear criticism and change. Thus, they are less likely to share any perceived weaknesses that could compromise their comfort zone. Reassure them your inquiry about any behavioral concerns are not to direct change but to help them maintain their ability to stay in control as they navigate through challenging situations.
Whether you're riding off into the sunset, heading towards the next burning town, or on the receiving end of a crisis at home or in the workplace, D styles can show empathy while building trust and meaningful connections with differing behavioral types. Remember, "Empathy first, not solutions."
