How to Speak Each Other's DISC Love Language
February is the time of year when our thoughts turn to love, relationships, and romance. Mostly because of Valentine's Day, but love warms the heart! As you think about the best way to recognize your loved one this season, you should use DISC to inform your decisions.
DISC practitioners often look for patterns of behavior indicative of the characteristics of that person's highest dimension, so it's natural to use DISC in the way you would use the book, The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. In fact, a terrific resource like "5 Love Languages" can be used in tandem with DISC Behavioral Styles to help you know which love expressions will be best received by your loved one.
If you've read Dr. Chapman's book, you already know that the first and second things you need to do are:
- First, observe and listen to your partner. Try to understand what he/she values. Your partner will send messages about the way he or she would like to be shown love. Sometimes it comes in the form of suggestions, hints or sarcasm, or even sometimes full-on complaining, but everyone has their own way to let you know what makes them happy.
- Second, demonstrate love in terms of what your partner values. Love is not about what makes you happy or what you value. A partner who listens and takes the time to figure out what makes you happy or feels loved is the best, most compassionate way to show genuine affection for your relationship.
- Third, both you and your partner should take a DISC personality test to gain a greater understanding of each other.
Once you both have taken your assessments, you should read each other's DISC reports carefully. What you learn should be both eye-opening and confirming of you and your partner's behaviors and personalities.
Use these tips to help you speak your partner's DISC Love Language any time of year:
For Your High D Style Loved One:
Do something active together. You may want to go ice skating, horseback riding, or hiking. Bring a picnic lunch and have it ready to go for your adventure. If you don't want to expend a lot of energy, go to a concert or venue for live music, attend the theater, or watch a movie. D styles love to be active and they don't want to have to handle the details, so coordinating and handling all the details of your activity together is a perfect way to express your love for your D style partner.
For Your High I Style Loved One:
Surprise your loved one by showing up at work to take them to lunch! Bring flowers for an added touch. Make reservations at a favorite restaurant. This could be a chance for you to impress your partner and also make them look good in front of colleagues. They would be delighted to be able to introduce you to co-workers and show you off. I styles enjoy gifts that enable them to interact with others and be the center of attention.
For Your High S Style Loved One:
Plan to get a couple's portrait with a professional photographer or have a favorite photo enlarged and framed. It would also warm your partner's heart to see a computer or phone screen saver with your images there. A high S style personality would enjoy seeing the photos and knowing that you appreciate them enough to put them in a special place.
For Your High C Style Loved One:
Skip the busy restaurants and make dinner for your partner. Just make sure to plan a menu considering favorite foods, preparation methods, and music. The high C style will appreciate that you have taken note of everything and planned everything down to their favorite candle scent. The C style will also be comfortable with the intimate setting and familiar surroundings.