Using DISC at Your Thanksgiving Table

Thanksgiving is meant to be a time of gratitude, connection, and good food, but let’s be honest: it can also be a test of patience and diplomacy. From the uncle who dominates every conversation to the cousin who barely speaks, family gatherings bring together a mix of personalities that can either blend beautifully or clash spectacularly.

That’s where DISC comes in—not just as a professional development tool, but as a lens to understand and appreciate the people you love most.

If you’ve ever used the DISC model in the workplace, you already know how powerful it can be for improving collaboration and teamwork. Can those same insights make your Thanksgiving dinner more enjoyable, peaceful, and meaningful? You bet.

Let’s explore how each DISC style might show up around the holiday table, and how you can use that awareness to bring out the best in everyone.

A Quick Refresher: What is DISC?

The DISC model categorizes behavior into four primary styles:

• The D personality style tends to be direct and decisive, sometimes described as dominant. They would prefer to lead than follow and tend towards management positions. 
• The I personality style is characterized by individuals who are influential, inspiring, and interactive. They enjoy being at the center of social gatherings.
• Those with an S personality style are supportive, steady, and stable. They value harmony and are often described as reliable and empathetic.
• Individuals with the C personality style are conscientious, cautious, and analytical. They excel in roles that require attention to detail and a systematic approach to problem-solving.

While everyone is a blend of all four, most people lean toward one or two dominant styles. Recognizing those patterns can help you adapt your own communication for smoother interactions, whether in the boardroom or around the dinner table.

Spotting the DISC Styles at Thanksgiving

Now let’s picture your Thanksgiving table. The turkey’s carved, the dishes are passed, and conversation is in full swing. Look around—can you spot these DISC types?

The “D” at the Table: The Take-Charge Relative

Every family has one: the person who insists on carving the turkey, reorganizing the seating plan, or debating current events with confidence and authority. “D” personalities thrive on control and efficiency.

At Thanksgiving, they might say:

• “It’s time for dessert! Who’s in charge of the pies?”
• “We need a better system for serving. Let’s make a line!”

How to connect:

• Respect their need to be heard, and ask for their help or opinion.
• Keep your responses concise; avoid getting defensive if they’re blunt.
• Acknowledge their efforts to keep things running smoothly.

Your DISC superpower move: Let them lead in small ways, like handing them the carving knife or asking them to make a toast. Giving the “D” personalities at your table a role can help them feel appreciated and keep their assertiveness productive, not pushy.

The “I” at the Table: The Life of the Party

“I” personalities bring the energy and charm to holidays. They’re the ones telling stories, cracking jokes, or organizing a post-dinner game. They thrive on interaction and love connecting with others.

At Thanksgiving, they might say:

• “We should all go around and say what we’re thankful for!”
• “Oh! You’ve got to hear what happened on my flight here!”

How to connect:

• Show enthusiasm for their stories and ideas.
• Avoid dampening their excitement with too many details or corrections.
• Include them in fun, social activities—they’ll keep the vibe lively.

Your DISC superpower move: Encourage their positivity. Compliment their sense of humor or creativity. They’re often the glue that keeps family gatherings joyful and inclusive.

The “S” at the Table: The Peacemaker and Caregiver

“S” personalities are the heart of Thanksgiving. They’re the ones checking if everyone has enough to eat, refilling glasses, or gently steering conversation away from conflict. They value stability, warmth, and connection.

At Thanksgiving, they might say:

• “Can I get you more potatoes?”
• “Let’s pack up some leftovers for you to eat tomorrow.”

How to connect:

• Show appreciation for their efforts and thoughtfulness.
• Avoid putting them on the spot or rushing them into decisions.
• If tension arises, include them in creating calm and understanding.

Your DISC superpower move: Express gratitude sincerely. A simple “You make this holiday so special for everyone!” means more to an “S” than you might realize.

The “C” at the Table: The Planner and Perfectionist

If your “C” relative was in charge of the meal, you can bet the recipes were followed exactly and the table settings match perfectly. They value accuracy, order, and doing things the right way.

At Thanksgiving, they might say:

• “The turkey should rest for exactly 20 minutes before carving.”
• “Please use this ladle to serve the gravy instead of that spoon.”

How to connect:

• Acknowledge their attention to detail; it’s often what makes the day run smoothly.
• Avoid teasing them for being too particular.
• When offering help, follow through carefully—they appreciate reliability.

Your DISC superpower move: Compliment their organization and high standards. A “C” feels loved when their effort is recognized and respected.

When Styles Collide: Managing Family Dynamics

Family gatherings can easily highlight personality differences. The “D” might clash with the “C” over how the turkey’s carved. The “I” might unintentionally overwhelm the “S” with nonstop chatter.

Here’s how you can use DISC awareness to keep the peace:

• Pause before reacting. When someone annoys you, ask: What might their DISC style be, and what’s motivating them right now?
• Adapt your communication. If your uncle’s a “D,” be direct. If your aunt’s an “S,” be gentle. Matching their style fosters mutual respect.
• Seek balance. Let each type contribute in their own way. The “D” leads, the “I” entertains, the “S” nurtures, and the “C” perfects. Together, they create a well-rounded family experience.
• Express appreciation in their language. Tell the “D” they did a great job organizing, thank the “S” for their warmth, affirm the “C” for their planning, and praise the “I” for making everyone laugh.

By recognizing what drives each person, you can respond with empathy instead of irritation—and that’s the true key to a peaceful holiday!

A More Grateful Gathering

This Thanksgiving, try something new: bring DISC awareness to your table. Notice the personalities around you, adapt your communication, and see what happens when you meet people where they are instead of where you wish they’d be. 

Of course, we need to start by understanding more about ourselves. A PeopleKeys DISC Assessment provides valuable insights that help inform your personal and professional interactions.

You might just find that DISC is the key to fewer arguments, more laughter, and a deeper sense of gratitude for what makes each person unique. After all, Thanksgiving isn’t just about the meal—it’s about understanding and appreciating the people who share it with you. And that’s something to be truly thankful for.