Mother’s Day is coming up. Are you still struggling to find that perfect gift? Take a look at our DISC-based guide to figure out what your mom’s personality style is and use it to find the perfect Mother’s Day gift!
D moms are kind of dominant and domineering. They take charge and make decisions, and what they say, goes. Hey, someone’s gotta do it, right? This mom is fond of saying “because I said so, that’s why” and “as long as you live under my roof, you’ll abide by my rules.”
A D style mom might be the head of the household. She is the person whose discipline you would most fear. She has been tasked with taking care of you, and she takes that job seriously, just as she takes every endeavour she engages in seriously. She knows that her children must respect her authority for her to be able to raise them correctly. She demands that they behave. She doesn’t spend a lot of time talking about feelings, but rather pushes you to be the very best.
If you have a mom like this, she probably made the big decisions in the house. Her opinion dictated dinner choices, home decor, what schools you went to, and what type of activities you should participate in. She had the final say on who had permission to go to whose house for a sleepover. She is the mom screaming “kill em!” on the sidelines at soccer games. She is Alpha Mom, and the other moms respect that.
These personality traits can be good and bad. The bad news is that she may make decisions on a whim, and base those decisions on her momentary preferences. Just because she made a decision without assessing the pros and cons does not mean that she will fail to enforce said decision. She is the boss, and what she said, goes.
She hates being taken advantage of, and won’t let anyone take advantage of you, either. This means that she is great at negotiating with a car salesmen to get the best price for your first car. Or maybe she is willing to yell at the customer service representative when they made a mistake on your cell phone bill. She will keep arguing with them until they agree to give you money back. That’s pretty great. But it also means that she may tell you you can’t go to a birthday party because she has decided that that Smith boy is a bad influence. Or she may have decided that the best way for you to succeed in life is to be an accountant, so you have to spend your summers at Math Camp. Nothing that you say is going to change her mind, she has decided and she doesn’t back pedal. She is one tough mama, and you respect her for that.
GIFTS FOR THE D STYLE MOM: Something that corresponds with her hobbies or work, she is pretty competitive and likes getting things done, so anything that can help her be better or more efficient at the things she enjoys doing. For example, if she is a wine aficionado, get her an automatic wine bottle opener. It’s flashy and fast, which she appreciates. Don’t get her a huge book on wine, ain’t nobody got time for that. She’s a busy lady.
I is the cool mom who wants you to have a super sweet “James Bond and Superheroes Underwater” themed birthday party because you’d love it. She also wants to throw it because it is so creative that hopefully all the other parents will want to come, and she will get to be social, too. The I mom is the type of mom who really hoped that being a mom wouldn’t keep her so busy that it precluded her from maintaining her friendships. She loves being your best friend, but she still has enough love left for the rest of the world, too.
She shows her love by making you elaborate Halloween costumes (at kind of the last minute, because she is an optimist and underestimated the time frame she would need to sew it). This mom is the type to leave you cute creative notes written on a banana, or teach you to use chopsticks for a little variety from the ubiquitous fork. She might be the mom who reads you bedtime stories with over the top, distinct, and cartoonish voices for each of the characters.
The I mom shows her love through talking to you and telling you how much she loves you. She wants you to do the same. She is very verbally oriented, so she is unlikely to try to buy your love. She will want to talk about your emotions and her emotions. A lot. She will be very afraid that you don’t like her.
This mom is not very task-oriented, so she might be a little flaky. She is the mom you don’t want in charge of your morning carpool, because you might end up being late. That’s cool with her, she isn’t fond of daily routines anyway. She is the mom you want to have helping you with your art project. She is the mom you would be willing to invite out with you and your friends when you are adults.
She hates routines and would rather do something fun on Sundays instead of going grocery shopping for the week. She’d prefer to shop European style, getting just the specific and unique ingredients she needs for one meal. She lives more in the present. She wants to mix it up, so you might have Indian food one day, and Japanese the next. That is, assuming she remembered all the ingredients she needed, because she isn’t a fan of lists. But it’s cool, she’ll improvise. Or, preferably, order in!
Being the cool mom has some pluses and minuses, though. You may want to hang out with this mom, and she may want to be your best friend. But sometimes as a child you need boundaries, and this mom may be so concerned about being rejected that she isn’t willing to discipline when discipline is needed. Or maybe she’s cool with that, too.
GIFTS FOR THE I STYLE MOM: Something creative that tells her that you love her. She would love it if you wrote her a poem or a song, or got her some cool funky earrings or a unique mug you found on a roadtrip that has a cool backstory. She enjoys verbal expressions of love and interesting and unique items, because she is interesting and unique, too!
S is the mom whose official name became “Mom” as soon as she had her first kid. She forgot who she was before because she is just mom now. Her kids are the center of her world, and her endless altruism is the source of unconditional love. This is perfect for young children, who need and want constant attention.
She excels at remembering which kid likes the peanut butter on top with light jelly and which one needs the peanut butter on bottom and medium jelly. She’ll cut the crusts off of your sandwich and stuff your lunch sack with notes to let you know that she is thinking about you during the day. And she will be thinking about you during the day. She is extremely selfless and considerate.
She will remember the names of all of your friends and ask how they are doing, because she cares about them, too. She is mother to the world. When your friends come over, she will make sure that they have all eaten, too. When you say you have already eaten, she’ll probably bring snacks anyway, just in case.
She is very family oriented and will do anything to keep the peace. This mom probably wasn’t into harsh discipline, but took her job as a mom very seriously. She wouldn’t refrain from discipline when it became absolutely necessary because of this. Her world revolves around you and she would do anything for you. This is wonderful for her when you are a child and need her to do a lot of things for you. This becomes a struggle for her once you became older.
An S mom is the queen of guilt trips, making you feel bad for every Saturday night you spent with your friends instead of your family. And forget about trying to spend the holidays alone, she wouldn’t hear of it! She might also freak out a little when she becomes an empty nester. This is all due to how her positive personality traits take kind of a negative turn when she is no longer needed. An I mom wants to be liked, an S mom wants to be loved and needed.
She will probably continue to be a great mom and teach you how to be independent in spite of the fact that she hates it. You are truly lucky. Letting you grow up and change pokes at her greatest fears. But the good news is that the S mom loves you so much, she will raise you right and let you go even though it is the hardest thing she can think of to do. What a gal.
GIFTS FOR THE S STYLE MOM: Anything. It came from her favorite person, you, so she loves it already. Bonus points for making it yourself or including a sentimental card. Show her that you are paying attention to what she likes, too, and she will really appreciate knowing that you were thinking of her.
The C mom has to have the house in order at all times. She has rules for chores, rules for bedtimes, routines for the morning, and a place for everything. These rules exist so that everything can be done correctly and effectively. This works out fine until you start to disobey. Maybe you don’t want to clean your room today or think that 9 o’clock is an unreasonable bedtime? Too bad. The C mom is not a negotiator. She made a rational decision based on peer-reviewed studies regarding the benefits of set bedtimes on circadian rhythms and has enforced this well-founded system since day one.
She is not moved by your emotional pleas. You need to do what makes sense and clean your room and go to bed on time so that you are ready to get up and be productive in the morning. No tears will convince her otherwise, systems exist because they improve your quality of life. Your tantrum doesn’t change this fact. She isn’t the sometimes mercurial D mom who needs you to listen to her simply because she is in charge. Rather, this mom just knows what needs to be done and she gets it done. She doesn’t seek authority or power for its own sake. She doesn’t want to deviate or dilly dally.
The C mom might have a family calendar posted for everyone to see. It will have your karate, basketball, and ballet practices coded in blue, family events in red, doctor appointments in black, and emergency contacts and the poison control number on the bottom.
She will take the Principal’s side when you get in trouble, because the Principal is abiding by the rules of the school. The school rules exist for everyone’s safety, and you knew the rules and had a responsibility to abide by them.
She might have a hard time being flexible or talking about her feelings. She is very predictable, very organized, and a little cautious. She is afraid of criticism regarding her parenting, especially her own criticism. She is likely to do what is best for you no matter what, regardless of how it makes you feel toward her. She understands that you will come around eventually, and even if you still hate her when you are 30 for making you eat your vegetables as a child, she can live with that. She knows she was correct.
GIFTS FOR THE C STYLE MOM: C styles really enjoy getting very in-depth with their interests. Maybe your mom loves historical documentaries about old architecture? You could get her a coffee-table tome illuminating the details of the different types of Castles constructed through the decades. Or maybe her favorite hobby is rock climbing at the gym? She would appreciate getting new gear that has been product-tested and thoroughly reviewed. She wants the best because it will perform well, and she does everything she does as well as it can be done. Including raising you. She doesn’t want something that will break, it’ll just be a waste of your money, and she raised you better than that.